“Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.

If everyone on “24″ followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12″.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, “Previously, on 24…”

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Don’t beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. “

I craked my ass of after finishing reading them !